page 5 of 6, 3:30am, due 8am.

needs revision.

poet 2.0

conducive to creativity.

I found a new way of writing papers.

It's so exciting that I've been so focused I had to blog about it.

So here are a few pictures.

^what the corner of the room looks like.

That's butcher paper from my friend upstairs, colored markers i bought at the beginning of the year, and packaging tape.

I have a really hard time sitting down and writing out my papers. I'm always getting up and sitting down, getting up and sitting down. I just can't seem to organize my thoughts. So, as I was in an up moment, I stood by my window and remembered that scene from A Beautiful Mind where Russell Crowe is scribbling furiously into the glass window panes. I thought to myself, Huh, I wonder if I can do that with dry erase markers.... too bad I don't have-

And then I remembered my neighbors giant roll of butcher paper, which he said he never really used.

So, I finagled it. And it has kind of revolutionized my life. I actually have an hefty outline and a thesis. Uh-mazing.

In the process, I also rediscovered Copeland from my high school days... and I find myself sketching.

and this one inspired by Rives poem, "Compliment"

I feel very good. But now, I want my bed.

letters

To you, whomever you may be:

I hope you're a poet,

and that you write about me.

- me, your lover.

pathetic.

today: i really just feel like being someone's favorite.

money.

From Thursday to Sunday, I put in 19 hours at Isla. At 6 dollars an hour, I made $114. On top of that I made some close to $100 in tips. And then the $150 Ninong gave me.

I made all this money... but I've technically already spent it all... -_- stupid credit card. Most of it is legitimate, birthday presents and groceries... but you have NO idea how much money I have spent eating and taking people out to eat. lol, Which is also legitimate in my book.

But I'm gonna put that card away. haha. It's funny because when Ray handed me my pay and tips all I could think about what how I need to give it away, that I can't have this much money. Lol, I just already had. And it's interesting how that money FEELS different than the money I get from sitting Media Services desk or the allowance from my parents. I know that I worked for this, that we (the restaurant) worked for this. Maybe also because it's cash. I wanna start doing things in cash.

In any case, I'm using the money to pay off my credit card and start new.


I'm dead tired, my feet hurt, I've got two term papers to do, but I feel just a little bit more independent.

chasing pavements

"i want to be Love and have Love, and not just that romantic kind either."

I don't remember the last time I felt this way. I just want the romantic right now.

hahah. which is exactly why i shouldn't be in a relationship.

Because I cannot love another more than I love myself and i cannot let another person love me.