advent week one.

So, I'm 'doing' Advent this year. Which essentially means that along with my church, New Community, I'm going to be reading a set of scriptures each day as a time of reflection to prepare for Christmas.

Because Christmas is still about God coming to be in this mess with us.

And it's be really awesome if I could see God in my mess being with me.

So from that:

Behold, you were angry, and we sinned; in our sins we have been a long time, and shall we be saved.
There is no one who calls upon your name, who rouses himself to take hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us, and have made us melt in the hand of our iniquities.
Be not so terribly angry, O Lord, and remember not iniquity forever. Behold, please look, we are all your people.
Will you keep silent, and afflict us so terribly?
-Pieces of Isaiah 64

Restore us, O God; let your face shine, that we may be saved.
O Lord God of hosts, how long will you be angry with your people's prayers?
You have fed them with the bread of tears, and given them tears to drink in full measure.
Restore us, o God of hosts, let your face shine, that we may be saved.
Turn again, O God of hosts! Look down and see; have regard for this vine, the stock that your right hand planted, and for the son whom you made strong for yourself.
But let your hand be on on the man of your right hand, the son of man whom you have made strong for yourself!
Then we shall not turn back from you; give us life, and we will call upon your name!
Restore us, O Lord God of hots! let your face shine, that we may be saved.
-Psalm 80

I really feel this way... that God is hiding from me, that God is being distant on purpose; or that I'm lost with no way back.... I'm comforted to know I'm not the only one; and that God hears me (these prayers wouldn't be included if God didn't). The next scripture is John 1; which is all about Jesus being God and Jesus coming to earth... and I know that JesusGod is God's answer to these prayers. And I know that it's the Holy Spirit's job to make Christ's love real in our hearts and minds.
So it all goes back to me waiting on and listening what the Holy Spirit is telling me.
....and I still feel like all I've ever done is wait and listening... and nothing.
Saying 'Well, God's timing is God's timing" sound frustrating and trite.
But I'm going to wait and listen and hope.