fear and UCSF MEPN

I told Dad last night. He's really excited. (He should be. He and Mom are also back together!)
He suggested UCSF because they have an accelerated one year program, and I went and looked it up.
But it's not a one year. Well it is, sort of, I am eligible to take my NCLEX (RN exam) in a year, but after that I have 2 years to specialize in a Nursing Master's degree. It's called the MEPN; Master's Entry Program in Nursing.

I have three really awesome options to specialize in:
midwifery/women's health
trauma
advanced community health and international nursing

INTERNATIONAL NURSING.

When I found out I freaked out, I called Dad and went a little nuts. I decided I wanted to be a nurse 2 weeks ago, 2 weeks ago! And now I find out that I have to be a specialist! SPECIALTY means leadership! When I graduate they'll make me the head of something! That's SO scary! SO FRIGHTENING. I'm too afraid I don't want this. I'm too afraid to want this. I know FANTASTIC people who do nursing, and how do I be amazing like that? And Dad pegged it, dead on. He knew that I was afraid of this opportunity.

Not only that, but I have exactly ONE YEAR to know if I wanna do this. ONE YEAR to choose a specialty and APPLY. ONE YEAR.

I don't think I'm good enough.


but I want to try anyway.