"I'm just being practical right now."

Beth introduced me to Gerard, a pinoy she works with who introduced me to a bunch of other filipinas, and we studied together for a few hours yesterday. EVERYONE is a nursing major. EVERYONE.

I was talking to Ate May's sister, Myra, and when I asked her if she was in nursing she nodded, "Yes, I'm just being practical right now."
And I remembered why I didn't want to do nursing in the first place; because there are SO many pin@ys are doing it because it's in high demand and they'll get paid well. And I wonder if they have enough love and sympathy for their patients.

I'm probably judging. I probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Filipin@s make fantastic nurses.

I'm probably only upset because I don't know if I'm good enough.

I was thinking about getting my reference letters; and I have NO idea where I would get them from.
Stienhart
Nedilsky
Alani?
And who else?

And if they tell the truth... do I want them to write it?

My biggest question is still about whether or not I want to be a Nurse Practitioner. Shouldn't I just get my RN first? And just try it out first?
Am I being sensible or just afraid?

I didn't apply to the UC system. I didn't finish my CSU applications. I had internalized my fear and then projected it out that I didn't "need it." I was so afraid of their rejection, I refused to apply. I don't want to be afraid this time.

I sent an informational email to the program. I have to do my GRE this summer. I have to decide a specialty before I apply.
I'm so afraid.