running

Have I been running this whole time?

I've fought my whole life to not do medicine.
And here I am considering being a sociology/nursing double major.
If I do this, I will be at North Park for another 3 years.

I remember being at the Mother Teresa orphanage for mentally disabled children and how I was completely immobile during it. I refused to touch anyone or come near anyone because I felt if I have nothing to offer, nothing to help heal I had no business being there.

I don't know if this is a good idea. I'm afraid of sickness. I'm afraid of people dying.
Do I think just because I know how to wrap a bandage it's is going to curb my fear of wounds?

:/ I do know that when I do see sickness, all I can think is you should not be this way.

Lord, if this is an impulse, please take it away.