I can't really say that I really want to be married. Words like "wedding" "bride" "husband" feel like a foreign language that I will never ever wraps my tongue or my mind around.
But I have always, always, always wanted to be in a committed relationship. I have always wanted to give love and be loved in a quiet, lifelong, life giving sort of way.
It's a desire that runs so deep I can barely put any of it in words. I can only describe the way my stomach tightens and my blood seems to hum in my veins.
It's a legitimate thing. At least that's what I tell myself.
Lately tho, I just wanna be free of it.
I just wanna remember that really; I don't need to be loved or love someone that way. And not in a i-have-to-love-myself-before-i-can-love-someone-else kind of way, either. Just plain- I'd be content if I never dated or fell 'in love' with another person ever again.
I wanna get to that point.
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