Had one of the worst days yesterday and the day before; I started wondering why I even came. Cried through the first 20 minutes of both of my classes. I am overwhelmed by 5 projects due in 7 days.

I have a very high standard when I write and do papers; and a 4 week course is not enough time to write the way I want to. What's difficult is that the reason I have such a high standard of myself is because I feel behind; if I don't reach this standard, I'm just above bearable. On top of that I've realized that through the past bout of depression, I've spent so much time trying to breathe through class that I don't have any notes.

Got a note from my professor that he'd like to see me organize my writing better, to match my intelligence. I know it's a compliment, but it makes me feel tense in my chest. Instinctively, I'm just not good enough; I can't be.

It was a struggle getting out of bed this morning- but I did. And about 10 hours later, I finished my owl.

She's a little heating pad filled with rice, made of a white tank top, a purple bandana, and Lahu fabric I wove myself.

She makes me feel a little hopeful about me and my ability.